Sunday, April 18, 2010
"Her Gorgeous Grief" by Catherine Harnett-TW T/F P.4
This forum is for specific discussion on "Her Gorgeous Grief" by Catherine Harnett. What are your first reactions? What did you like most about the short story and/or the collection of short stories? Also what question(s) do you have about the "Her Gorgeous Grief"? Students should try their best to answer each other’s questions. See Blog Assignment for additional information!
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Her Gorgeous Grief by Catherine Harnett was a short story that spoke out to me as a young woman. Mainly because it was a story about a mother and her daughter and the troubles her daughter went through to understand her mother's sudden journeys. While reading the story I also noticed that the girl would always just be observing, but never participating and still never understood her mother until many years later. On another hand, my favorite thing about the story was that it was very descriptive and it painted an image in my head of every event. I felt like in a way I was not only reading the story but living it. I also loved how the event that was I guess the turning point had to do with a mother and her children. The bond between a mother and her children is very strong; therefore, this allowed the girl to understand where her mom was coming from once she became a mother herself. She understood how hard it is to grieve the death of a close family member alone and why her mother decided to help others going through that. Her mother also wanted to show her "the power of her own hands" and how life can change in an instant. Essentially, she wanted her daughter to learn to not take life for granted and to help others. Some questions I had about the story are what happened to her mother? Why did you decide to not give the main character a name?
My first reaction to Her Gorgeous Grief by Catherine Harnett was that of confusion and scare. On the first page the daughter talked about how her and her mother drove hundreds of miles to the place where a mysterious girl disappeared or where someone was killed. I was really confused about this because I did not know why they were going there or what was going on. I thought this story was going to be really weird and haunting. As I read on the story became clearer, and I really enjoyed the different type of read it was. The descriptions and amounts of small details made the story magical for me. Sayings such as “My mother’s smoke blue and obstinate in the winter air” and “ She bathed herself in sadness publicly, in its shared, overwhelming waters” provided me with strong imaginary of what could have possibly been going on. Furthermore, I loved the whole idea of gorgeous grief. This women’s grief was so heavy towards people that she did not know, but grew to know and love, making her grief almost gorgeous. Throughout the story I could feel the grief and pain that the women was suffering, but I wonder why she put herself through all of that pain? Moreover, I was curious to find out how people would feel if unexpected and unknown guests showed up at your funeral? I also did not understand why the daughter continually went on these journeys with her mom. Did she feel like she was obligated to help her mother?
My first reaction to the short story “Gorgeous Grief” by Catherine Harnett was curiosity. The reason for my curiosity is because the first line of the story is “ Since you asked, I will tell you this: my mother did seek out calamities, listening for the tragic noise that led her there, to those gatherings of grief I came to know when I was young.” So, I was immediately interested in what the author was talking about. Obviously, it was about something depressing, because she sought out grief, and possibly tragic, because this happened when he was young. However, the reader still does not have the slightest idea what she is referring to and must read more in order to understand. As you read on, you discover that the mom has some sort of obsession or inclination to crimes and the victims. She would take her daughter, who is the narrator of the story, on her several day long trips to the scenes of the crime or the place of mourning. The narrator appears to be used to the whole situation and knows exactly what is going on and how to deal with it. However, one circumstance seems to have scarred her for life. This is the situation in which after sneaking into the church, she finds out that a mother of three kids locked them in a car and then drowned them. You can tell that this stayed with her forever because when she is grown up at the end of the story she still makes references to it in her mind. One question that I have is why is the mother going on these trips to crimes and memorizing the files in the first places? It never explains because it is in the view of the daughter who does not fully understand. The second question is when the narrator grows up; does she follow in her mother’s footsteps because it says that her mom stays beside her, especially on the long night?
My first reaction to the story “Her Gorgeous Grief” by Catherine Harnett was that it was a little suspenseful. The story seemed to me like it ended at a cliffhanger, for I wanted to know why the mother went to all the funerals, and what everything meant. In addition, I thought the story was truthful, in the way the story ended, with the morals about the power of life and what can never be changed. I thought the story was very deep, leaving me with powerful thoughts about life. The life of the narrator seems very incomplete, switching between going on journeys to the funerals with her mom and spending time in school. The way the narrator responds to her mothers calls for a journey tells me that they have been doing this for a long time, and the narrator seems pretty young to me. Is the fact that she is young shown when she points out that her mother uses big words? That seemed like a pretty insignificant detail, but it stood out to me.
In this story, I liked how real everything seemed. I felt part of those cases, like I was an investigator at the scene of the crime. The affair in the car, at the diners, and at the funerals was a realistic experience that left me with many questions about the mother and her reasons for traveling to the funerals. It seems almost a little scary that the narrator’s mom wants to know everything about the deceased, so why does she? Also, why does the story start with “since you asked”? It is almost like the narrator is reflecting back on these times at the questions someone is asking her. I also liked the descriptions of the places the narrator and her mother visited. The scenes were vivid, almost scary, adding a feeling of drama and suspense to the story. It seems that would be hard to accomplish in such a short story, which makes the story more exciting and interesting to read. In conclusion, it was an interesting yet scary story that brings out the truthful side of life-you cannot undo what is already done.
When I read “Her Gorgeous Grief” by Catherine Harnett, I was struck by both the compassion of the mother to try to comfort those who were in mourning, and the oddness of the protagonist having to steal out in secrecy to do so. I immediately respected the character of the mother for wanting to help support people in their darkest hour. On the other hand, I was wondering why the mother found it essential to know “every published fact” about the people that were missing, dead, et cetera. I was curious about why they always went in secrecy and under the cover of night. According to the story, they maintained their confidentiality by the car’s “…headlights off, till we were long down the block”. I particularly liked how in the story, the tone was one of jaded curiosity, and annoyance. Although I cannot completely sympathize with Harnett over her leaving all of the time, I understand what it is like to miss the crucial part of knowledge gotten in school, and to then feel behind in lessons. I feel as though if maybe more people could find the time in their lives to sympathize with people’s losses, even if they were the losses of random strangers, then more people would be more caring. Then again, even if people are caring for other people, it may not have to go the extent of borderline stalking that is expressed in the story. When reading the short story, I wondered why the protagonist and her mother always made their excursions in the middle of the week when the child would usually be in school instead of not just simply making these journeys on the weekend. On the whole I really enjoyed reading this story and it gave me the subject to think about concerning the line of where caring turns into acute stalking.
Catherine Harnett’s “Her Gorgeous Grief” from Writes of Passage is, on face value, a perverse story of a mother who takes her child throughout the nation to different distraught family gatherings, to be comforted as a relative. Her child, the nameless, faceless, main character is then permanently scarred, knowing of the affect of her actions and her mother’s need for love. As someone who has lost a loved one this is a disgusting idea, whose base is purely selfish. In addition, the fact that the mother would inflict her own emotional pain on her daughter by bringing her from place to place, leaving her child constantly questioning her mother’s sanity and motives is selfish, irreversible and, quite frankly, sad. It is evident in the short story that the mother must have some kind of emotional problem, and the sense of community and love that comes with the death of a loved one must give her a sick comfort. However, maybe the mother is not as twisted as it may appear. Granted, she turns up at random funerals, but in the end does not everyone long to be loved? Does not the lack of the latter cause a gaping, piteous hole in one’s soul? Is the mother just trying to feel involved, even to empathize with the family? Even more likely is an idea that possibly the mother has undergone a traumatizing event, for the girl’s father is never mentioned, and so feels a connection with people who have lost all. Is the story really as perverse as originally thought? In the end, love attained-no matter the process- can change a person’s life, so is the concept of finding it in the arms of comforting strangers really so bad?
“Gorgeous Grief” written by Catherine Harnett is a reflection of the various missing person’s stories that you hear on the Today Show. However, the daughter of a missing person’s coordinator narrates the story. It is easy to connect this to all the missing children and people in American news. On the contrary, the last missing person’s case in the story relates to the case of Andrea Yates in Texas who drowned her five kids. Once I heard this story I felt the same way the main character did in the story which was, “but when I focused on the facts I could not comprehend how or why their mother took their breath away” (346). The other controversy is the religion of the family, which in America affects the motives and assumptions of any situation. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have led to the intolerance and association of suicide bombers with the Arabic religion. When the story vividly depicts the scarves that cover the people in the church head’s. It is hard to understand what religion Angela and her kids, which is my first questions. Second, what motivated the main character’s mother to take her out of class to find other people’s children? There has to be some reason for the mother’s choices in the book. The author’s depiction of the mother and the emotions are too vivid for research or watching a story on the news. Therefore, is this an actual experience of the authors life, or did the author find her own research about missing child victims.
The beginning of Catherine Harnett’s “Her Gorgeous Grief” certainly doesn’t prepare one for the outcome of the short story, and it certainly didn’t prepare me for the reaction I’d have. The reader is launched into a world where a woman dresses her best and drives hundreds of miles at a time to attend the funerals of strangers, all through the eyes of a child, innocent by nature. At first, the story filled me with what was almost disgust. How dare you research some deceased stranger as if they were part of some history project and then go and pretend to have been an intimate part of that stranger’s life, amongst his family, her friends?; to do so, seemed to me, an incredible intrusion upon their grief. This innocent child, who is indeed a sort of stranger to the reader, remaining unnamed, suddenly becomes very aware of the reality of life, of tragedy. When her mother insists on travelling to a funeral, constantly withdrawn and vague, the child starts to wonder – what is it that happened to this woman? What is so horrific, so different, to cause all the bizarrely hushed tones and obscurity. When the child realizes it, she suddenly seems so much less innocent. I found it quite crafty of Harnett to write the story in the first person, from the child’s point of view, and it really leant something to the story. The reader is plunged into the story, almost brutally, feeling as if they are what is going on. It took me a while to understand the young woman’s actions, but as understand dawned on the child, so did it upon me. Tonight, I will probably watch TV, and perhaps on some channel, Fox let’s say, there will show an ad for the 11 PM news. Mother and child found dead in apartment. Boy shot at school. Teenage girl is missing from home. These are the tidbits, and everyday there is something new. Like the child when she is older, I hear about these tragedies and grieve them a way: cold, apart and virtual. The child thinks, “What my mother did was hard, seeking them out, not waiting for this grief to be delivered.” That sentence alone helped me understand the mother’s actions and, in turn, gave me a respect for what she was doing. Will I ever do the same thing? No. Do I want strangers at my funeral? No. Despite that however, Harnett, in her writing, managed to make me understand someone else’s ideas about tragedy, loss and grief.
The short story “Her Gorgeous Grief” in the book Writes of Passage was another story based on memory. When reading the first part of the story, I felt sympathy for the little boy—not the victims of murder that his estranged mother was chasing. I would not be a happy child if I had to constantly reschedule my life just so that my mother could take me to a random place hours away to mourn a stranger. What in the world was her job anyway? I personally thought that she was some kind of forensic scientist, but then again, people who work in those kind of things are usually not that emotional over cases—and most importantly—they do not treat every case like it is a ‘bring your child to work’ day. Also, to back up my suspicions about this job, I would like to recall to a portion in the text which reads: “…warmed the car, its headlights off, till we were long gone down the block” (341). At this point, I am imagining his mother as some kind of secret service agent. Although, when I reached the end of the book, I saw her actual purpose in taking him; she wanted him to become a paranoid psycho when he grew up. After I was finished reading the book, I decided to read over it again because I felt like I was being too judgmental. After the second read, I came to the realization that she was trying to teach her son a lesson of precaution: “…the way things turn in an instant, what can be done, and what can never be undone” (347). This is also the theme that I took away from the book. I’d like to know the author’s inspiration for this story, because this plot was a very… creative one.
The short passage written by Catherine Harnett was a passage that had amused me. It was due to the fact that I had never read a short story this depressing and sad. As a matter of fact, this story broadened my views of what is life like as a reporter. Furthermore, my first reaction to this reading was that it consists of a very negative element. In fact, I have never read such a dark-sided story ever in my entire lifetime. I rather read positive and comedic stories. Also, when I was reading the short story, I realized that the girl is forced to go with her mom and that she does not really enjoy the trips. That hit me when said she usually brings a deck of cards or an item to amuse her on the long trip with her mom. On the other hand, my favorite part of the book was how her mother responded to her daughter suggesting to her that she can make up her test. Above all, I found this part comedic to me and came to have a sense of liking to it. To tell you the truth, I liked it because of it was a test that the girl had studied for all year and it was also the most important one. Now because of her mom, she could not take it. Besides that part, no other sections in the passage delighted me. One question I have on the story is why did you make the girl go with her mom if it was against her will? My last question is, pertaining to the conclusion of the passage, whatever happened after the events of the church?
The short story "Her Gorgeous Grief" by Catherine Harnett , from the book Rites of Passage, is a story about a family, a mother and daughter, who travel, in their car, to different places around them and visit murder locations, talk to mourners, and participate in search parties. My first reaction to "Her Gorgeous Grief" was really a question. Why would anyone want to be around all of the grief that they saw, and experienced? It also seemed kind of like a horror movie, during which a woman goes around seeing where people had died and attends random people’s funerals. As I continued to read, however, I began to understand, or to believe, that she was doing all of these things out of the goodness of her heart, to comfort people. My favorite part of the book is when the young girl becomes sick. It may seem mean, however, the fact that her mom thought that she could just stay in the car, even though she had a fever, at a temperature of 104 degrees. My questions regarding the reading are: Why does the mother seem to enjoy following murder cases of people that she doesn’t even know? How is it that the teachers really don’t question the fact that the daughter is out of school so often, even though they continue to get the same excuse of some type of illness? How is it that everyone that they see at the search parties seems familiar, in that they have meet them before, even though they are at different locations depending on the victim?
“Her Gorgeous Grief” by Catherine Harnett is a short story from Writes of Passage about a daughter’s experiences with her mother. When I first read the story, I thought that it was a very unusual, one-of-a-kind story. Although I think it was a strong, interesting choice for the author to not fully reveal what is going on until the very end, as it creates mystery, it also puzzles me, because it leaves the reader uninformed until the last paragraph. The author also never fully explains why her mother attends the funerals; Ms. Harnett only alludes to the fact that an event may have occurred for the main character’s mother at some point in her life, which her makes her feel as if she can connect to all the other tragedies she “studies.” As the narrator says, “I am not sure when it all came clear to me; it could have been days later, or two hours, but when I focused on the facts I could not comprehend how or why their mother took their breath away…And my mother, who understood” (346). This may imply that the mother has had some experience of seeing someone being killed or maybe even killing someone, but it is unclear, and never fully explained, which makes me wonder if the mother really did experience a tragedy of some sort? I am also wondering why the mother makes sure she knows all the details of the calamity, since funerals are supposed to be for whoever wants to attend, and therefore it should not matter if the mother is familiar with every aspect of the crime. This causes me to ponder if the mother pretends to be someone else while at the funeral, as if it was an escape from her normal life.
My favorite part of the story is the author’s detailed descriptions. She made the story seem very real and vivid. I especially thought she described her mother well. Ms. Harnett writes about the mother: “Her vocabulary, full of words like arraigned, adjudicate, abduct, amazed me, how my mother rattled off these terms like other mothers could recite ingredients for cakes. She navigated highways and strange rural roads while other mothers drove to baseball games and home. My mother was always well put together on these occasions, her Coty lipstick neat and pink, her ample dress coat and kerchief” (342). Harnett’s use of specific words really helps set the scene and describe the character. In addition, the writer uses similes which compare the main character’s mother to what the main character believes is the norm. This helps to illustrate both the character’s mindset and her mother. Overall, I am glad I got a chance to read this story, it is very unusual and unique and I am very impressed intrigued by the entire idea.
In the short story “Her Gorgeous Greif” in the book, Writes of Passage, written by Catherine Harnett she seems to be reflecting on her childhood, as Paula Whyman did in the short story “Driver’s Education.” In the beginning of the story I did not understand what it was exactly her mother would do and why she would take her child out of school to do this as well. For example, “The days would start with her waking me from my deepest part of sleep, telling me in her urgent way that we needed to go, emphatically, now.(341)" When the author said this in the beginning, it led me to believe that they were being chased by the government and they needed to move to a different location. As I continued to read on, it became clear to me that her mother was the type of person that went to help and grieve with the families of missing, or murdered children. The part of the story that I thought was most interesting was, when they had to suddenly leave, even when she really did not want to. This part really touched me because all while she was reading the case files her mother usually checks while their driving to their next destination, she thought something happened to the mother in the file. She soon realized that it was not the mother, but in fact the three children that were killed by their mother. “At the front of the church there were three small white coffins, each strewn with carnations and greens. Each perched on small gurneys, ready to be offered into the earth in just over an hour, small holes taking them in their long forever sleep. I was terribly confused: where was Angela, hadn’t tragedy befallen her, hadn’t someone come up behind her, sliced her neck or suffocated her as she slept?(346)” This part also made me think that the author was becoming more interested and aware of what her mother as well as her purpose for what she does. I did wonder why the mother would take her child out of school for days at a time to take her to these disturbing sites for her to sit and do nothing. Overall I enjoyed the realistic aspect that the story gave.
Many traits of humanity are worthy of discussion and perhaps the most worthy, that which makes us most human, is empathy. This is the central theme of Catherine Harnett’s Her Gorgeous Grief. The structure and diction of the piece is striking in comparison to most others; it uses contrast and comparison in the form of the “Jigsaw Effect”, or when an author flashes backwards and forwards in time and uses many aspects of their life out of order, only making sense in the piece as a whole. The first page, even, is filled with suspense, keeping the reader on the brink of understanding, begging to know more. This contrast is also evident in the differences found between the mother and main character, and other families, specifically other mothers and classmates. An example of this appears on the top of page 342, when Harnett says “She navigated highways…while other mothers drove to baseball games and home,” Her mother’s elusive character adds to the building suspense of the piece. We are not given insight to this elusiveness past her mother’s actions until she speaks of her mother’s “characteristic precision” and vocabulary, implying she is a learned person. A question I had was in regards to the main character’s attitude towards her mother and her mother’s ventures. Obviously she feels a certain degree of frustration when her mother’s actions cause her to fall behind in school and miss a test, but she still describes her mother’s determination to help these cases she reads about as “beautiful”. Why is this? What is the relation of Angela to the mother? Does the title’s use of the word “gorgeous” reflect anyone other than the missing boy’s mother?
My first reaction to “Her Gorgeous Greif” by Catherine Harnett was very confusing. In the beginning of the story, the daughter was explaining this daily procedure, and I automatically thought that her mother had a specific type of job that required daily traveling. While reading this story I realized that people actually do things out of the goodness of their heart. We are talking hundreds of miles and even her daughter missing a lot of school, just to be there to comfort someone that has suffered a loss. This is something that I loved about this short story; it is different, and very intriguing. Even thought I do not know what it is like to be in the narrators place, I can relate to her, because all of the emotions that she had are typical, when you are in uncomfortable or kind of tired of something. However, the mother did not see that. I wonder if the characters mother went through anything in her childhood to make her do these things. Why doesn’t the main character follow the same footsteps as her mother, with her children? I love how the title ties in with a very emotional part of the story. This made it easier to understand and make text-to-self connections with the love and affection that the mother had for the different families. I would definitely refer this short story to someone to read, because it taught me not to take life for granted. To treasure every moment of your life, and know that there is always someone out there in this world that actually cares; even if they do not know you.
Upon reading, “Her Gorgeous Grief” by Catherine Harnett in the book Writes of Passage, I immediately was hooked to the story. Although at first I did have some trouble following, I was soon able to understand what was going on. Mrs. Harnett’s choice of words helps create that mystery and suspicion all throughout the story that makes the story different and unusual, yet interesting. For example, when Mrs. Harnett depicts, “Since you asked, I will tell you this: my mother did seek out calamities, listening for the tragic noise that led her there, to those gatherings of grief I came to know when I was young” (341). Moreover, the short story not only was able to captivate my attention, but make me realize that the story is very similar to many situations today. For instance, today, we live in a society in which all types of people live, including those with trauma, and mental illnesses, who cannot analyze right from wrong, nor interpret exactly what they’re doing: perhaps, like the mother in the story. After reading the story, and somewhat understanding exactly what drove the mother to such activities, I believe she could have been suffering from emotional trauma, probably of an incident during her own childhood; therefore, implying the same activities on her daughter: an unnamed girl. I liked many things of the story, such as the great choice of words, the unnamed main characters, and overall how it was ambiguous. In addition, I was a great fond of the descriptive details given in the story; not only was I reading, but you can say I was living it. Although I did like the story, I had some questions about the story. For example, maybe I missed it, but how exactly is, “Her Gorgeous Grief” a story pertaining to the coming-of-age? Moreover, I inferred, and said that the mother could have been suffering from an emotional trauma, but is there an exact reason why she committed such peculiars acts? Lastly, at the end of the story, the unnamed girl describes the last, “journey”, is there any exact reason, why this journey is more important than others? Above all, I loved the story, it was great reading a story different than what accustomed.
“Her Gorgeous Grief” by Catherine Harnett was a story that made me curious at first. I did not understand the story, and the reasoning behind the mother going to stranger’s funeral. I thought that the mother was weird and should not be doing this. She brought her daughter along on the journey and had her missing school to comfort people that she did not know. I did not care for the mother going to strangers funerals because if a stranger who did not know who has died should not attend the funeral unless they are family. Then as I read into the story more I understood more. This mother was going to funerals to comfort those who have lost someone who passed away in a tragic way. She went to those funerals that had people grieving to the fullest way because they died tragically. They were missing and where found dead and other tragedies. Then when she got to the last funeral she felt the pain in her heart when three were killed by the father and husband, she felt grief and comforted those around her. I soon realized why she was doing this, and realized she was doing this for those who she thought needed comforting in the death of someone. I started to not feel so appalled by the mother and understand what was going on. The daughter was a witness to her mother’s way of helping others and se showed how she finally understood her mother’s way when she had children of her own.
“Her Gorgeous Grief” by Catherine Harnett is a shocking story to say the least. Upon reading the story for the first time, I remember being overwhelmed with confusion and thinking, “What in the world is this story about?” The account opens with the line, “I will tell you this: my mother did seek out calamities, listening for the tragic noise that led her there, to those gatherings of grief I came to know when I was young.” Why was a lady mysteriously showing up at funerals and crime scenes, dragging her daughter along with her? More importantly, why was Harnett writing about it? I also remember being unhappy with the lack of a conclusive ending. That was my first time reading the anecdote. After reading it a few more times, I realized there was more to this tale than what it conveyed on the surface. This story wasn’t about a mother attending the funerals of strangers, but more about her need to feel comforted and loved. By attending these sad events, this character new she would be welcomed with open arms by those in grief. That is my interpretation at least. To some extent, I believe that the mother went on these escapades because she could empathize with the victims or the family of the victims. Towards the end of the story, the narrator says, “Angela who will never see this town again, until she becomes a part of its dirt… and my mother, who understood.”
While rereading the story answered some of my questions, I still have a few. In what time period does this narrative take place? Is it fiction or reality? Lastly, what happened to the narrator’s father? Is he alive, missing, dead? “Her Gorgeous Grief” definitely wasn’t my favorite story to read, but I did enjoy it.
Her Gorgeous Grief By Catherine Harnett is a story of obscurity and confusion. The mother of the main character (who like in Drivers Education remains nameless) is an eccentric librarian, who for some reason enjoys showing up to the funerals, memorials, or crime scenes of victims of violent crimes and abductions. This story remains extremely strange, no matter how many times you read it. But when you start too look at the characters closely, you begin to understand the strange behavior of the mother. This is a woman who lives in virtual obscurity; she is apparently not married and presumably uninvolved. Her only ties to normalcy are her small daughters (but this doesn’t seem enough to settle her down. So instead of living like so many other single mothers do (struggling to juggle work and family). She sets out inserting herself into the lives of others. My pervious comment may seem strange, but it is in no comparison to this woman’s behavior. This mother is not well known and obviously suffers from a slight degree of narcissism that allows her to take her daughter from school whenever she so pleases. It must be extremely worrying to her to live a life in obscurity. This woman remedies this problem by arriving at the scene of the crime or as the narrator calls it “a pilgrimage of sorts, a hajj to the scene of the crime or the houses of the disappeared” (342). By showing up at these very personal events (especially for the family of the victim) she has injected herself into the fray. She is no longer in obscurity for that moment, which makes her feel good. Her daughter on the other hand is a less complex character, but with that said I think that Catherine Harnett did a wonderful job at creating this little girl. Not a bit of it was staged or over thought. Maybe she was modeled after someone else? Here was a girl that was simply reacting to her mother’s obvious crazy eccentricities. I think the simplicity of the words and the heaviness of the topic blended so well together that it made the story nothing less than phenomenal.
My initial reaction to “Her Gorgeous Grief,” by Catherine Harnett in Writes of Passage was that the story was incredibly real. The story talks about a girl’s relationship with her eccentric mother. The story opens up with “Since you asked, I will tell you this: my mother did seek out calamites, listening for the tragic noise that lead her there, to those gatherings of grief I came to know when I was young,” which seemed like a really abrupt and blunt way to start the story. As the narrative unfolds, however; I realize that the girl’s whole childhood was just that- abrupt and blunt. She followed her mother to funerals and crime scenes unexpectedly. The narrator explains how she would always miss school and get behind in her work, but the trip was always what was most important to her mother. The story really made me think about how all of the things that the narrator had seen must have affected her. I thought about going to countless murder scenes and how I would slowly grow numb to death, which should never happen. Death shouldn’t be normal to anyone, but it was to this girl. The story ends with, “She seems always at my side, especially on these long nights, saying nothing but reminding me of the power of my own hands, the way things turn in an instant, what can be done and what can never be undone.” This sentence made me think a lot about the decisions we make in our lives and the decisions that the characters in the book make. The mother decides to repeatedly do this: to drag her young daughter to these horrible places. And the daughter always goes. I am sure that if she really wanted to, she could have stood up to her mother and refused to go with her, but I think she decides to go with her because, for whatever reason, this is really important to her mother and being with her during these trips helps bond their relationship. One of my questions is why do you think that her mother does this? Do you think that it’s her job, like I originally did, or just something she feels she has to do? My other question is why do you think that the daughter always tags along on these trips?
My first reaction to the short story Her Gorgeous Grief by Catherine Harnett was confusion. After reading only the first sentence, I knew this would be a story based on a tragic journey, but I wondered what would happen in the story. It was not until reading more of the story that I realized this was a story about a mother and her daughter and their journeys together. The mother had some sort of obsession with visiting peoples funerals, people who she did not know. I had to re-read the story many times before I was able to comprehend the underlying meaning of the story. I realized there must have been a reason for the mother going to all these peoples funerals and taking her daughter out of school to go with her. I think it may have been that you can learn to grow love for people and death is a hard thing whether you know the person or not. While I was reading the short story, I was wondering why the mother had to memorize everything about the crime or the person who had died before she arrived at the scene. While reading the story, I was thinking whether or not there was there a reason for this because she could have just read the article once to learn about the person rather than memorizing every detail. I was also trying to think why the mother would want to pull her daughter out of school to go on these special trips with her? Was she trying to share these moments with her daughter and if so why? How did the daughter get an education in the end if she missed so much school? I really enjoyed the extensive amount of detail given throughout the story. This provided images in my head of each trip which made it easier for me to understand the story. I thought it was interesting how Catherine Harnett wrote the ending leaving me with many questions.
“Her Gorgeous Grief” by Catherine Harnett was a touching and emotional story. It reminded me of losses that people have to encounter on a daily bases. The mother in the story also reminded me of my grandmother and my aunt. They are the type of people that will bend their backs backward in order to help comfort a person in need. Although I am not like that, after reading the short story, I have come to realize that life is too short to be solely worrying about my life and not those around me. The story also reminded me that life is a gift that so many people take for granted. In the beginning of the story, I thought that the daily routine that the mother and the daughter had was to protect them from someone but then as the story progressed, I soon realized that it wasn’t about that at all. Reading this story also reminded me of Fiddler on the Roof. It reminded me this movie because they talked a lot about broken traditions. And in the story, the daughter broke the tradition of going to support those that needed help and love the most. She didn’t pass this tradition on to her children, therefore, in a way; her mother was sort of forgotten. Lastly, I hope to come in contact with people that are like the mother in “Her Gorgeous Grief” because the world be a better place to live in.
"Her Gorgeous Grief" is a short story written by Catherine Harnett. My initial reaction of the story was that it was very interesting. It was very interesting because in a way, it seemed to hit close to home. It hit close to home in a way that looked as if I needed comfort. While I was reading the story, the main thing that kept popping into my head was why would a mother make her daughter go through that type of thing. The story was captivating in a way that made me feel like I was the little girl in the story. Running into homicides and murders and grieving over ones you do not know seemed to take a toll on the girl. The reader can tell that there would be an effect because by the end, the author was insomniatic. My main question for the author would be something like what was the reason for your mother putting you through episodes of feeling random and sudden heartache. Was there some source of emotional wound that your mother needed filled by going to strangers’ funerals? I liked this story because it gave me an outlook on what lengths people go through to find some form of solitude in their everday lives.
My first reaction to Her Gorgeous Grief by Catherine Harnett was very concerning. When I was reading the story, I did not understand why the mother made her child miss school just so that they can drive hundreds of miles to go and search about a missing person or someone who has already passed. I did not see the point for that. Why was it any of her business? But the more I read, the more things became almost clear. Even though I thought the main character’s mother was crazy, I started to realize that there was not a father figure in the story. That really made my whole point of view about the things the mother did seemed reasonable. In order to hide her own issues, the mother would deal with others problems. I thought a problem with her was that she was lonely. She did not have a husband so to keep herself busy she did weird things. I also felt really bad for the main character. She does not have a say in any of her mother’s actions. She just had to go along with her mother wherever and whenever. The short story also had very precise details that allowed me to paint a picture in my mind. For instance, “ The closed church doors were heavy, and I opened one slowly, overwhelmed by the smell of benedictions and burning candles, that sweet devout smell that is like no other.” This was an example that caught my attention and puts an image in my mind. At the end of the story I once again became confused. I did not understand the end. What happened to her mother? Was the main character just reminiscing? Was this her experience when she was little?
When I read over my peer’s comments, the first one that really stood out to me was Katie’s comment. Her interpretation of the mother was completely different from mine. I found the mom to be crazy with weird ways of spending her time, but Katie found her visits to people to be demonstrations of love because “does not everyone long to be loved?”. I still feel that the mother was a little over the top with her demonstrations of this love, but it could indeed be a way of filling a void in her heart to love what she has not to love anymore (no mention of a father). I appreciate the way that Katie has looked at the short story with compassion in a way that I was not able to feel when reading the same story. Katie, regarding your question about whether or not everyone deserves to be loved, I think so, but it is pretty hard to love a stranger. On the other hand, Jamie completely gets my point; I never understood the “oddness of the protagonist having to steal out in secrecy” to complete her missions either. Although, Jamie also found the heart to see the compassion of the mother when reading the short story like Katie did. Jamie, I completely understand your inquisition about the fine line between caring and stalking. I believe the mother is on that line, and maybe leaning just a little bit over to the “stalking” side. Thanks for agreeing with me… kind of.
My thoughts, and many others I am sure, have been confused about the mother’s actions, but I believe I may be able to provide some answers to some people’s questions. Julia, my feelings about the story are very similar to yours. I too believe that the story was incredibly real, as well as abrupt and blunt. In addition, I had also thought at first that this was the mother’s job, to go to people’s funerals, but I soon came to a new conclusion. Mine was that she did this to cope with her own grief, as no dad is mentioned in the story. Maybe she had thought that she was helping the real family of the deceased cope, as maybe she did not have any comfort at her husband’s funeral. I think this might be her way of helping people, because she does not want them to feel like she did. A sentence in the book that is supported in the book is near the end, where the narrator says; “What my mother did was hard, seeking them out, not waiting for this grief to be delivered, virtual and cold” (347). While I did agree with Julia, I also agreed with Olivia too. The story was confusing for me as well, and I did have to read the story over many times too. I was also worrying about the narrator’s education, as eighteen trips, as mentioned on page 342, with each trip taking about three days, that adds up to a lot of school missed. It may be that the mother was able to teach her some occasionally on the car rides or some similar instances. In addition, you asked why the mother had to memorize every detail, and I believe she did this to be closer with the mourning people, and so she would be prepared if anyone asked her any questions about why she was there. I also believe she did this to get closer to the victim to help with other people’s grief, as shown in this sentence; “A local reporter comforted her as she wept, his photographer capturing her gorgeous grief” (344). This story is confusing from the initial reaction but incredibly real once you understand it, so I agree with both Julia’s and Olivia’s thoughts.
In response to Julia Mitchell’s blog question asking why the daughter always tags along on the trips, I believe that she does not do it by choice. I think that she just is not old enough to stay at home by herself, so her mom takes her on the adventures with her. The mom has a need to go to the murder scenes and other crime scenes, but she cannot be irresponsible and leave her at home. The reason that I think that she is not old enough to stay home by herself is because she can keep herself entertained with just a deck of cards, which is not conclusive, but there are several inferences towards it. In response to Randall Palmer’s question asking why the teachers never question the fact that the main character is always out of school and has a similar excuse each time: I think that they do not question it because it is not their place. There is a chance that the teachers might get suspicious, and that is not even for certain, but as long as it is an excused absence then there is not anything that the teacher can do. The only real reason that they would get involved is if they believed that the main character was being hurt in some way, and there were no signs or indications of that happening. In addition, if they were so curious that they would want to pull the daughter aside and talk to her about it, then the daughter would have nothing serious to share and would most likely say the same excuse that is on the attendance record. So, there is no way to know for certain.
Aidan! I really enjoyed reading your blog. I thought you explained your interpretation of the story quiet well. I agree when you said the curiosity at the beginning, set up the story with a unique feeling. I never looked at the Church scene as a turning point for the child narrator and perhaps that is the reason for why the daughter wanted to grow up and be just like her mother. In regards to your questions I have come to turns with completely different solutions after I read your blog and then read the story again. I never really thought about it, but the daughter must have been pretty young because like you said she did not understand the situation fully. Furthermore, since the daughter was so young she might not have known if her mother was by chance a criminal detective or worked with CSI or another career of that nature. She was just dragged along with her mom. So she might have to memorize all of these cases because those files could be part of her job or maybe she wanted to get to know the people a little better so she could experience the full grief for who they were. Aidan to answer your second question I do not think she followed in her mother’s footsteps. As she stated, when she cannot sleep she watches all the poor victims and cases on television that her mother would love to look at or solve. I think she came into a realization that even though, perhaps when her mom passed away or in the present she will always be there with her in hard times and “Especially on these long nights, saying nothing to me, but reminding me of the power of my own hands, the way things turn in an instant, what can be done, and never undone.”(347)
I also enjoyed your blog Jaime! I agree with the passion that is felt while reading this story. The author does a good job in capturing the emotions and feelings of death. Once again I think its important for the mother to keep her low-down because after all this is not her tragedy. She may not want any attention drawn to her from anybody! I really do think the mother works as a detective and must know all the stories in order to help the victims. However, I do not think the mother is a stalker, but truly cares about the people and victims involved in cases. If a case springs up I suppose the mother had to react as fast as she could. It would have been ideal for the outings to be on the weekends, but I do not think those decisions were up to the mother.
Considering Lombeh’s questions on “Her Gorgeous Grief” by Catherine Harnett on the aftermath of the story, I believe that it was the girl reminiscing about her past childhood. Of course, there is no proof of this in the story; I just believe that is what happens later on. Regarding to this, I came up with that conclusion because of the previous story we had to blog about, “Driver’s Education”, by Paula Whyman. In addition to that, I had remembered what Paula Whyman told us when we had the chance to meet her and ask her questions on the story. Without further ado, she had told us that when you get your driver’s license, it would be a pivotal point in your life; a turning point. Moreover, what I got out of that was that most likely it would be an experience that you revisit. So in conclusion, I believe that the girl in “Her Gorgeous Grief”, was going back to her past experience in her life for that very moment, was a turning or pivotal point in her life. Moving on to Olivia’s question about why she took her daughter with her on those horrifying, which I believe, trips. Since I could not find an answer in the book for this one too, I tried to gather up as much logical reasons as I can to find the solution. Considering her question, my answer to that is that she was probably very young at the time. As I stated before, it was probably a pivotal point in her life that she, presumably that she is now much older, was looking back at the past. Additionally, she probably had to go to summer school to make up the missed classes. Again, these are my logical explanations to your questions on “Her Gorgeous Grief”.
To answer Michelle S. question, the daughter always goes with her mother because she does not have a choice. The main character is not old enough to make her own decisions yet. Her mother would make her miss school just so that her daughter could come with her. Also, school is considered very important to almost everyone. But to the character’s mother, driving hundreds of miles to go to funerals and follow murders is more important than that. Being in other people business is more essential than her own child’s education. You can also tell that the girl does not really enjoy the long trips because in the story, it says that she brings cards to play with because she easily gets bored. Answering Randall P. question, the mother seemed to enjoy following murder cases because going back to what I said. In the story, there is not a father in the story so the mother gets lonely and feels as though she needs to deal with other people’s problems and not deal with her own problems. In the story it did not say if there is nor was a father figure in the story. I am thinking that she is a single mother and she wants to find something to do and she follows murders to get her mind on other things. She is always making her daughter come with her because she does not want to be alone either. I do not think that the teachers do not pay attention; I think that they just cannot say anything because she has a note and that’s all that matters. As long as the character mother is writing notes to excuse her mother, the daughter will keep missing school to accompany her mother.
Michelle S, in “Her Gorgeous Greif” by Catherine Harnett, I shared your confusion and fear at the beginning of the story, because I was frankly creeped by the mother and daughter driving miles and miles and miles to be with sad people. Upon reading your reflection, I was unsure of what you meant by saying that you found this to be a different read. Did you mean that after a certain point in the story you started to interpret the book differently, or that to you the writing style seemed to change? I agree with you on the amount of details used, but that fact only proved to make the story scarier to me. I also do not understand what you meant by unknown grief towards people, because that seems like a form of outward depression. Instead, I saw her feelings as an off sympathy for people; a type of cry for help; and I wondered why she did not have a doctor seeing her. Personally, I feel as though if people come to my funeral, it would show compassion to go to the funeral of someone that is unknown, however, not like this woman who pretty much knew every published aspect of the deceased’s life. Also, the reason that the daughter went on all of these excursions with her mother was because she had no choice in the matter. For example, the mother said ““Get Dressed.” While I protested, she pulled me from bed and said again, more firmly now, “Get Dressed”” (Harnett, p. 345). This dialogue shows for sure that the protagonist had absolutely no say in whether or not she would go: she simply had to. India G, Although as you said, it is important to comfort a person in need, when does that comforting turn into too much? I mean yes it is good to feel compassion for others, but do you think that memorizing everything about a person’s living times is taking the compassion too far? If more people were like the mother in the story, then while the world may be a more compassionate place it may also be filled with stalkers.
As I read all my classmate’s comments, I was greatly impressed with the different opinions each and every one of my classmates had. In particular, I was greatly stunned by Katie T-C’s posting. As I was reading her post, I was greatly impressed with her interpretations. For example, she pointed out that throughout the story, the father remained unnamed, and the mother just wanted to feel loved, perhaps there was a connection. Moreover, she seeks love from strangers to occupy the vacant space in her heart. I, personally, thought that the mother was neither crazy nor retarded, but perhaps suffering from emotional trauma or a mental illness. Who is to know the exact reason; however, one can infer, and because of your perspective, I now see the different point of views one can take. Furthermore, I really liked the fact that you went ahead to start off as everyone else did by saying; the mother had emotional problems, then, you switched up the feeling and mood. Lastly, at the end of your post, you ended your thoughts with a question for your readers, which I thought, was very clever, since it actually hooked me to your response, thus wanting to read the story over. Furthermore, I really enjoyed reading and connecting to your post, I felt that you went into depth with the matter and you really did understand Mrs. Harnett’s clever use of mystery. On the other hand, as I continued reading, I stopped at Julia M.’s posting, I felt that she was able to give her opinion, and actually support it using textual evidence. For example, at the beginning of your posting you said that the story was, “abrupt and blunt”, which you later proved to be true. Moreover, I thought that the way you included decision-making fit very well with the story; however, I’m assuming that the narrator was not 14 or 15, like us, but he was probably too young to talk back, and refuse to go on the road trips; therefore, he was obligated to go, not only because he depended on his mother, but for him, perhaps, it was a bonding time between them. For example, the story depicts, “I developed s fever of 104 degrees and began vomiting at the scene of Carolee Malone’s brutal murder” (344), showing that the narrator was forced to go even if they were sick. Additionally, as well as Katie, you were able to think outside the box and not just focus on the mother’s sanity, but why the unnamed character remained with his mother all throughout. To answer one of your questions, the mother probably does these peculiar acts because she is suffering from an emotional trauma, or as Katie said, to feel loved again. In addition, I don’t think this it is her job because the story does not quite mention the mother’s profession, but I would have to say, this feels more like a personal thing that she feels she must do. Lastly, as previously said, the narrator tags along because they feel like they have to; they must be able to comfort the mother, and probably for the mother it is a bond, or something that the mother’s mother did. Furthermore, I really enjoyed reading your post; I felt that you were on the right track by questioning the events, and then giving details. In conclusion, I really enjoy reading everyone’s postings; I was able to realize more things that I had previously missed.
Oh, how I love round two! Olivia, I completely and utterly agree with your confusion. It is a very difficult story to interpret and I think you did a good job dissecting it. To answer your first question, I think that the mother’s obsession didn’t stem from an obsession with death, but with a, obsession with a traumatic emotional deprivation. Perhaps, not even one specific event, but she was missing something. She felt her daughter needed these experiences. She felt that she needed them. I believe that because death is such a difficult, real thing to deal with, she wanted her daughter there. Also in a way, I believe she needed her daughter there—it seemed as if they were alone, as no one else in the story was mentioned. It sounded like the daughter had to really work to keep up and to answer your second question, I think this probably allowed her to get an education—just the fact she was willing to work so hard to keep up. My great friend Randy, don’t think that the mother was some kind of sick sadist, but I think that she believes death is a monumental occurrence—one that she finds herself entranced by. I don’t think she enjoys other people’s pain, but the empathy she omits seems to keep her in these stories. I think in regards to the teachers, they aren’t as important to the mother as these experiences are; this is reflected in the way the story is written: there is scarcely mention of them. For you last question: death brings people closer. If they didn’t “know” the people before, they knew them after, for tragedy is something that binds people closely, without a word passed between them; it causes a desperate attempt at reaching out, a yearning for connection in this shared trauma—its part of human nature, as is empathy, the main theme of the passage.
Emma J! I completely agree with you, and I loved how you used the word “cliffhanger” to describe the way the short story ended. Obviously, as you and I were reading, there were questions that need to be answered in order for us to fulfill what we think the author intended the readers to grasp. For example, “She navigated highways and strange rural roads while other mothers drove to basketball games and home” (342) this sentence alone confuses you when you make text-to-text connections. She is mentioning what, in her eyes, is a typical type of mother to her. However, the daughter is describing what type of mother she had. The reason this lingers ambiguity is because you automatically think to yourself, If she is not this type of mother, what makes her any different. The first part of the sentence tell us what the mother is good in, but does not explain to the reader why the mother is in to these types of things, and why she is not a “typical mother”. Looking at the situation from the author’s point of view, you always have to think differently. Maybe the author wants the reader to make textual connections to the characteristics her mother displays and how her daughter’s life ended up, as an answer to the mother’s vague character as a whole. Everett L., when you mentioned that throughout the story, she focused on her mother, and majority of the things that she did; rather than the daughter telling the reader about all of her feelings about what her mother does; I agree. With the little things that she tells the reader, you can automatically assume that she supports, but does not agree with what her mother does. But why didn’t the narrator get more in depth? I want to say it is the mothers fault. She makes her child focus so much on her priorities, which the priorities of her child, such as school, are worth a lie and complete absence.
Michelle S, I really enjoyed reading your blogpost on the story “Her Gorgeous Grief.” You offered a lot of insight into this work of literature, especially with your interpretation of the title. Upon reading your critique, my first thoughts were that I, too, felt confusion when reading the first few pages of the book. Being able to vividly picture events due to the author’s great writing was also something I could relate to. On page 342, the narrator says, “She would learn of misfortune by thoroughly combing newspapers she read at the town library each day while I was at school. For several hours my mother would read…” The paragraph continues to describe what the mom did at the library and the way other librarians felt about her. I could clearly picture a lady scanning through popular newspapers while librarians looked on in curiosity. You were wondering why the mother put herself through pain. I think she was in fact trying to heal her pain. She was probably already in grief, and felt that going to these events and sharing grief with others would somehow relieve her of her pain. Furthermore, you speculated as to why the daughter accompanied her mom on these journeys. Did she feel obligated? Maybe it’s the exact opposite. Possibly her mom felt an obligation to bring the daughter. If not that, the mom wanted a family member to accompany her on these trips, a relative to comfort her. Either way, the daughter had no choice but to go. The story says, “The days would start with her waking me… telling me that we needed to go now… I had learned the set routine: ask nothing.” To answer your last question, it would creep me out if complete strangers showed up at a funeral I was attending.
Katie, I really appreciated your interpretation of both the story and the motives behind which the mother acted. I never considered the narrative from this point of view, especially the idea of the mother bearing her emotional sufferings onto her daughter. To some agree, I must say I agree with your perspective. You mentioned that love, regardless its form, can be life changing. You then questioned whether or not it was bad to find love in strangers. To answer your question, I’d say, no, it’s not. As long as no physical or emotional harm is being caused to others then people should be able to find love and comfort wherever or in whomever they please.
After reading my peers’ blogs about the short story, I felt very enlightened about the story and I was glad I got to read the many different interpretations of ”Her Gorgeous Grief.” Kelsea’s point of view really stood out to me. She believes that the mother goes to the funerals because she feels very loved when she attends them, since she is with people who are looking for open arms, as is the mother. In this way, they are dependent upon each other. I asked in my first blog if the mother used the funerals as an escape from her normal life, and if she pretended to be someone else at the funerals, but I see now that Kelsea is probably correct; the mother uses the funerals as her way of getting affection. She may even use them in place of a loved one - the father, for example. To answer Kelsea’s question about whether the story is fiction or reality, the story is fictional. However, the deaths could be based on real events, as Justin pointed out. Moreover, I felt that Michelle S. and I shared a lot of the same views; we were both confused at the beginning, but eventually it was an "enjoyable read," as Michelle wrote. I also agree with Michelle because she felt that the descriptions were what made the story so exquisite. Michelle chose an excerpt that read, ”My mother’s smoke blue and obstinate in the winter air,” and I thought that as a perfect example of the authors vivid descriptions. Using a word like ”obstinate” to describe the smoke really set a specific image in my mind. Michelle asked, ”why did the mother put herself through all that pain?” I would like to refer to Kelsea’s blog to answer the question. As Kelsea pointed out, ”by attending these sad events, this character knew she would be welcomed with open arms by those in grief.” Basically, the mother wanted to feel loved, and knew that she would recieve love, even if it as melancholy love, at the funerals. In addition, Michelle asked how people would feel if unexpected and unknown guests showed up at a funeral. Although it would be odd to have a stranger at the funeral of a loved one, funerals are open to the public and everyone is invited to celebrate the person’s life. Therefore, I do not think that people would be very upset if someone who they do not know attended the funeral. Lastly, I agree with you in that the child probably did feel obligated to accompany her mother on the journeys. I know I would feel compelled to join my mother if she asked me to come with her and share her grief.
I really enjoyed Emma’s response, and agreed with her almost completely. To answer some of her questions, I thought that the reason that the author started off the story with that particular phrase was to prepare to tell us this story, or almost to have a reason to tell us this story. I also thought that it was a little creepy how the mother seemed to have researched the victim and victim’s family to the extreme. One of the things that suck with me most, like Emma was how in the end, the experiences with her mother seemed to really stick with her, and especially the idea of permanence and not being able to redo your life. As for Olivia’s post, I totally agreed. The first time I read the story, I was too tired to really try to understand what was happening. Even after rereading it several times, I think that I am just comprehending it, and probably not correctly. I could try to answer your questions, but they’re mine too. Although the mother may, on one hand, seem responsible for bringing her child along for the ride, I also question her sense of priority. How can a mother justify taking her child out of school to do these random- and unnecessary things? I too wonder if the child got a good education, and whether the mother cared. I also wondered about the questionable ending. I think that it was purposeful, but it is kind of annoying, I want the answers.
As I read over my peers responses to, “Her Gorgeous Grief” there was two responses that immediately caught my attention. Michelle A’s and Nya H’s responses reminded me of the questions and confusions that I had when I first read “Her Gorgeous Grief” written by Catherine Harnett. In Michelle’s response I immediately noticed how well written her response was and how well she was able to write her opinions on the short story so clearly. It really left a lasting impression on me as a whole. In regards to what you said about how many people in today’s society are going through hardships such as in the book, really made me thing twice about what Harnett was trying to portray in her story. In Nya’s response, I totally shared her confusion in the beginning of the story. I too thought that the reason why the mother and daughter had a scheduled system was that they were running from something or they just had to go somewhere, but I realized that they were actually going to mourn for another person’s death; I was taken by a surprise. Nya and I also shared similar thoughts to the piece of literature as a whole. As I was reading the book, I found myself thinking that maybe the mother did these things because she had a traumatic incident happen to her in her childhood and no one was there to comfort her; so now she feels the need to go around and help everyone else because she lacked that sense of comfort in her early years. Overall, I really enjoyed reading everyone’s response, and I especially enjoyed reading the story.
A majority of students did not like the short story “Her Gorgeous Grief.” However, even though it did not have the same rawness of “Drivers Education,” writing technique of syntax is apparent. Catherine Harnett, in a grim style, vividly explains and allows the reader to visualize any part of the story. I admire Emma M’s response because we both admired Catherine Hartnett’s’ way of attracting the reader by putting the story in first person. This allows you, as a reader, to put the story in the shoes of the daughter. Emma M also stated that it is common for this type of story to appear on the news. In the western civilization there are a lot of situations of people who end up missing because of domestic tension. I also agreed with Michelle A’s response, because we both felt the mother had emotional trauma because she has no reason to find stranger’s missing children. However, in response to Julia M’s response, the reason for the mother’s insistence to have her daughter help her find stranger’s missing children is for various reasons. First, since a father or even another guardian is not mentioned, there would be no way for her to stay at home alone. Second, the mother obviously needs help searching for missing children, mainly researching cases. Finally, the mother needs someone to help her through the pain of failing a family.
In response to Evert L’s response the reason for her to look for other people’s children is for psychological reasons. First, Gina Kemp, M.A., Melinda Smith, M.A., Joanna Saisan, MSW, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. in an article once stated, “A child with an attachment disorder feels unsafe and alone.” Even though children have obviously different emotions after they grow up. Sigmund Freud once studied that children develop psychological problems because of a lack of love from their mothers. Therefore, the mother might have developed emotional problems from a lack of domestic love. Evert L’s question is really important for the theme of the book. Moreover, when Catherine Harnett visits our class this inquiry should be stated.
In response to Julia’s comment, I couldn’t agree more with your analysis of the child’s emotions towards death. The lifestyle she is, one could say, subjected to definitely creates an almost numbness towards something so tragic. The author writes, in reference to the mother, “she would learn of misfortune by thoroughly combing newspapers she read at the town library each day while I was in school” (p. 342). This creates an image of this woman as a researcher, sitting, distant and apart, studying the intimate details of strangers’ lives. Being exposed to such an attitude would certainly have numbed my emotions towards such tragedy a bit. I would say, however, that the child has no choice but to go along with her mother’s antics; that is the very nature of her being a child. Had the mother’s daughter been a teenager she could have easily rebelled the random treks to different funerals and murder sights, but she was a child. The author writes, “But I once created a disturbance in a forgettable upstate town when I developed an inopportune fever of 104 degrees and began vomiting...” (p. 344). More than anything else, this quote illustrates the vulnerability of a child. She needed her mother’s care. Had she rebelled against her mother’s actions she would have never come to the realization presented at the end of the story, which so opens the reader’s eyes to the nature of grief and of tragedy. On that note, I would point out that I do not believe it was the mother’s job to do what she did. I think the author leaves a level of ambiguity surrounding the reason for the mother’s action, but as an adult, the child realizes something about her mother: “What [she] did was hard, seeking them out, not waiting for this grief to be delivered, virtual and cold” (p. 347). This recognition really says something about the mother’s compassion, and that is, I believe, what drove her to go around with these antics. In response to Emily’s comment, I would say I very much agree. Empathy was a central theme in the story and there is no word better suited to describe the mother’s motivation, as I’ve mentioned earlier. Concerning your question about the use of the word “gorgeous” in the title, I would say that I didn’t consider it a description of the missing boys’ mother, but rather of the main characters mother. The child always considered her mother beautiful, in a dramatic, almost tragic, way, and the title always seemed synonymous with the grief of her mother, the gorgeous grief brought by such honest empathy.
As I read over my peers’ reviews of “Her Gorgeous Grief”, I noticed that there were similarities between some of them and my own. Michelle S. was confused at the beginning, just like I was. The imagery that the details painted for Michelle made me go back and reread to see if I could capture that same essence. Michelle stated that she thought the mother’s grief was, in a way, gorgeous. I have never even thought of the mother’s grief as gorgeous because she put her daughter through anguish for some unknown reason. To answer one of Michelle’s questions, I think the daughter went on these excursions with her mother because in a way, she was forced to. After all, it was her mom whom she was dealing with. In the story, there was one occasion when the mother became firmer in her tone and she knew that her mother meant business. For Jaimie L.’s perspective, I got an entirely different feeling after reading it. Our curiosity about the story was basically the same. I can understand what she meant by the mother going on these trips all the time. I am not sure if the trips were actually necessary, but if the mother would have waited until a week after the funeral was held, she would have defeated the purpose of her trip. If someone’s funeral was in the middle of the week, that is when they would leave – the trips were meant for the moment, not for tomorrow. When I read and reread the story, I tried to understand what Jaimie meant about borderline stalking. Even though I tried to understand, I still thought it was a way for the mother to heal some sort of wound, not to get close to a random dead person. Overall, I really enjoyed reading these two comments and I gained two new perspectives on the short story, “Her Gorgeous Grief”.
After reading my classmates thoughts, I am able to get a better perspective on the story and I believe there are many different ways you can interpret the story. Kelsea, you wrote that you felt overwhelmed with confusion and thinking after first reading the book and I felt the same way. I also asked myself many of the same questions you asked. To answer your questions, I believe that the story is fictional although some parts may in fact be based on real life situations. I also think that the father died which may also be one of the reasons the mother feels the need to be comforted and loved by others who she has something in common with: death of a loved one. This connects into Sarah S. response. I also agree with your views on the story. Like I said for Kelsea’s question, I have the feeling the mother had some sort of death in her family which is the cause for her going to others funerals. I also had this same question, but to answer why the mother wanted to be familiar with every aspect of the crimes I think that the mother wanted to know all the details of the crime so she would feel as if she fit in and knew everything about where she was going.
After reviewing the blog part one responses of my classmates, two stood out to me. Olivia W and Michelle S’s responses, and questions were very similar to mine. Addressing Olivia’s question “…why the mother would want to pull her daughter out of school to go on these special trips with her?” I wondered about the same thing. The fact that she could just pull her daughter out of school, and, seemingly, have no bad feelings about it really made me think about the mother possibly having mental issues. However, the fact that she did take her daughter with her, makes some sense to me. One of my best friends was an only child, and his mom was always with him. We rarely saw him outside of school. Later, I learned that his mom just wanted to keep an eye on him regardless of when events were happening. Therefore, I believe that the mother did not so much “want” to take her young daughter out of school, as much as she had to, to comfort her. I don’t think that she would want to leave her daughter, who was still in school, at home alone for extended periods of time. Addressing Michelle’s question “did she feel like she was obligated to help her mother?” I think that she did feel obligated to go on the trips with her mother, and help her study while they were riding in the car. Though it did seem like she did not want to go with her, I believe that she felt that by being with her mother physically it was helping her focus.
After reading my peer’s thoughts about the short story “Her Gorgeous Grief,” the responses left a great impression on me. I liked way Michelle S. and Justin J. in particular shared their thoughts about he story. For example, when Michelle described some quotes that had a lasting impression on her, which allowed me to see how she may have understood the story. One of the questions she had asked how would someone feel to have a stranger at their funeral? Well I think that the family would appreciate the concern and the thoughtfulness of the idea, but inside I think a person would feel uneasy to know that a random person is mourning over a person that they did not know. Another question that was asked said did the daughter feel obligated to go on the trips? From reading the think story I think the daughter did not have an option if she wanted to go or not, I believe that mother would force her to go with her on these journeys. An example can be found on page 344 of the book. Another response I found to interesting was Justine J. I liked his response because he compared events in the story to real life events that have happened. One of Justine’s questions was, why did the mother take her out of class to find other peoples children? I also wondered the same thing, but after reading other responses, I think the mother really wanted her daughter to realize that during our life time we should help those in need, whether its posting missing child signs around a neighborhood or going to a funeral and grieve with the family of the victim. These posts have made me think more about the story as well as the purpose of what the mother is doing with her daughter.
Nya! I completely agree with you on your last few statements. After I read this story I was amazed at how much someone, a stranger at that, can care for others as much as the narrator’s mother did. This short story also taught me to not take life for granted and that every moment should be cherished because it can be gone in the blink of an eye. Also I shared your confusion at the beginning of the story. I felt like it was very ambiguous and I thought it would remain that way the whole way through but, as I read on I began to comprehend more and everything became clear to me. As I am sure it did to you since you would recommend the story to others. I am glad we share the same point of view. Emma J., I had a few of the same opinions you did about the short story. The way the author gave the story a very profound meaning at the end by making the moral about the meaning of life and how you cannot change what has already been done. Also about the power you have to change things made me consider the real important things in life. Furthermore, to try to answer your question about why the narrator starts the story with “since you asked”, I think she began that way because maybe her kids have asked her about it. Now that she is a woman telling the story and she has kids she may have felt that it was important for them to know. Given that all these events are very important to her she may want to share it with her kids when they ask for an interesting story about her life.
I agree with Taylor W., I did not understand the reasoning for the mother to take her daughter out of school and take her with her to go to funerals of those that she did not know. Then I soon realized her reasoning for it. She was trying to comfort those in grief of a lost one who died in a tragic kind o way. The mother wanted was a kind person who wanted to help those in need of comfort. I thought this was a weird way to do this, but I soon realized that she was doing this in a good way and was not intentionally being a creep person in going to stranger’s funerals. I also agree with Kabia Lombeh because my mind also changed about the mother’s conditions. Unlike Kabia, I did not realize that there was not a father figure. This helped me understand the mother a little bit more. I now understand that the mother had to take her daughter with her because there would be no one else to watch over her while her mother was gone. This also helped her understand her mother more and what her mother did. I also understand what Kabia was saying about the imagery and how it was easy to feel that you were their in the story also. The story had descriptions of what happened that made the story easy to follow. I was able to picture the mother in the car with her daughter being quizzed on everything that she could about the victim whose funeral they went to. I were able to see everything the mother went through to help those in grief.
To Jamie L, I could never have disagreed more with your point of view. This is not a story of “compassion” as you have put it. This is a tale of a perverse longing for the things that she could not obtain. She did not go to be of any help to the departed’s family; she went so she could inject herself into their lives to feel loves and sought after. Hardly something you could call compassion. Even the way it is written makes her seem strange and voyeuristic. This is a woman (as I have previously said) who lives in obscurity. Some people would join a club but this woman deemed as “eccentric” by her peers and goes to crime scenes to see people grieve. A hardly normal and compassionate behavior. To answer your question her checking all of the information of the people is just another extension of her insanity. She feels more involved id she knows them as if they were family. In conclusion, while I do disagree with your view on this subject, your ideals are well thought out. Emma J, I absolutely concur with your point of view. Although I never talk about it in my primary blog posts, I really did love this story. It made you feel as if you were apart of the crime scene. No matter how disgusted by the behavior of the mother you really were, you always were wrapped up into what had happened to the little boy and how his dog was going to feel, it always kept you wondering. That ability does not only speak to the story but the quality of the writer. To answer your question I am not sure either, maybe it’s a memory maybe it is a rant. I am not sure. In conclusion, I really loved your blog post and agreed completely with your point of view.
“Her Gorgeous Grief,” written by Catherine Harnett, seems to be a twisted and unpredictable story of a girl whose mother takes her around to different funerals. This anecdote can be interpreted many different ways, for the meaning and purpose is unclear, but I especially liked Michelle A.’s, and Kelsea J.’s comments. Michelle’s interpretation was incredibly deep, and I concur with her ideas that our modern society is incapable of accepting those with “problems,” especially when they handle their problems through out-of-the-norm reactions-going to arbitrary funerals. In response to Michelle’s questions, this story is related to the process of coming of age because the narrator learns of the harshness of her surroundings and of the human nature to be loved and to empathize. This is evident in Harnett’s descriptions of “reminding me of the power of my own hands…what can be done and what can never be undone (347),” and when the narrator found out about her mother’s secrets: “And my mother who understood (346).” Moreover, Michelle’s second question can be answered similarly, for the narrator believed that her mother could empathize with the situation, maybe not directly, but with the understanding of human nature and the power of one’s own hands: “Poor girl, no one. My God it could happen to anyone (345).” In addition, the importance of this journey was emphasized because it not only began the enlightenment of the daughter towards her mother’s motives, but also, the entire situation of a mother killing her child set a stage for the narrator’s end of innocence and beginning of adulthood. I also agreed with Kelsea, and wanted to address her questions. In response to Kelsea’s first question, the story probably took place in New York or New Jersey because the author stated “our ventures ended across towns or cities across New York or Jersey (342).” Also, based on the index, this story is fictional, but I also wonder if, like “Driver’s Education,” it has true elements. Furthermore, the father was probably neglected from this anecdote to add an element of questioning and intrigue. Also, the author might have been indicating that her father had left, or that something had happened to him because the author mentioned that, “she seemed to be familiar with the others who had come, seemed a piece of each community, the victim’s intimate,” indicated that her empathy has deeper roots than just a mental illness. Overall, after re-reading the text several times, Catherine Harnett’s “Her Gorgeous Grief,” does not feel as inexplicable, and her story feels more purposeful.
It was really hard for me to find questions I could answer; most of my classmates have the same inquietudes as me. In response to Julia’s first question, I think the reason that her mother does this because of something in her past. I think she had a bad experience with dead and funerals and this is her way to feel better about it. About her other question I also thought that it was her job, but at the end I realized that it was not, as I said before, she does this because a personal bad experience.
I think her daughter goes with her because she did not have an option, she did not even understand why, but I think she knew that it was really important to her mother, and that’s why she did not question her. She could see in her eyes and her sadness that she was doing it for a good reason.
I also want to answer Kelsea’s questions. She ask when did the story happened, and although I thing this might not be relevant, and that is why it is not mentioned, I think that the story is in modern day. About if it is fiction or reality, I think it is totally fiction.
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